19 years ago today...

I was attending Cal State Northridge (CSUN - located in the Los Angeles area) my sophomore year in college as part of the National Student Exchange Program and planning to transfer there permanently. That was my plan until I received the news from over 3000 miles away that would change my life forever.

While at work. my stepmom Rachel was killed - brutally murdered. The events that unfolded over the next two years were like nothing I could have ever imagined. People in my family were falsely accused - they were only proven innocent after enduring a death penalty trial.

Not only were our hearts breaking over the death of Rachel, but our family was ripped to pieces by the false accusations. It took years before I was able to really mourn losing Rachel. She and my dad had been married for over 10 years, and we were close.

We all coped the best we could. Unfortunately, the grief, numbness (at times I could literally feel NOTHING), anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness that my heart harbored left no room for the Holy Spirit. I chose what the world had to offer as my remedy - not God.

In another post I'll have to share how God's hand of protection was on me and how He used this period in my life as preparation for what was yet to come. He allowed me 13 years later to be in a somewhat similar situation and to have another opportunity to choose Him, instead of the world. Ohhh what a difference doing life God's way can make!!!!!

On my birthday 2 years ago, I received the best birthday present ever. It was a letter from my stepsister Angie! We had not spoken to each other in 17 years. Angie was my stepmom's only biological child, and Rachel's death absolutely devastated Angie as you can imagine.

In the letter, Angie told me that she had just accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior while in jail, and He had changed her life!!! WOW! If I had not been living in "Nineveh," I'm not sure that I would have ever received that letter. You see, our county allows you to look up people on the internet who have been arrested &/or are serving time in the jail. Someone told me that Angie was in the county jail so I looked her up. Sure enough, she was there.

Now here is how God works. On my route to take my children to school, I had to pass by that same jail - at least 4 times a day. I felt convicted to pray for her, and I did every time I drove by. Then, the Holy Spirit prompted me to send her a card to tell her that I had been praying for her. After hesitating initially, I finally sent the card.

In her letter, Angie told me that since she had become a Follower of Christ, she had started praying for me and my brother. She wrote...

"God had put you and S. (my brother) on my mind a lot lately. Especially the last 3 or 4 weeks before I got your card. I had started praying to God right before I got your card and 3 nights before I got it, I talked to God about you and S. So you can imagine how it made me feel when I saw your name on the card. I was so amazed. After 17 long years of no contact and only 3 nights after I talked to God about it.

But you see I have not reached out to God until I came in here. I really had been mad at God all these years. But now I realize that my life was saved when I was brought to jail."

My God is the Restorer of Relationships!

I do believe that I had to do my part and obey God in order to receive this blessing in this special way. And my journey of obedience started when I moved back to "Nineveh" 5 years ago.

So whatever it is that you know God wants you to do, DO IT!!! No more hesitation or justification - JUST DO IT!

"I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

#3 and I'm Complete

A Double Triple Dose of Dads

I grew up hearing people talk about my Dad #3. I was told that He loved me unconditionally and would forgive me, no matter what. I was told that He even wrote a Book for me that was full of instructions on how to live an abundant life. And then it happened. I finally got to meet Him for myself when I was 10 years old! I was soooo excited!

Like most new relationships, we spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other. I thought about Him all the time and constantly talked about Him to other people. I wanted to do things that would please Him, make Him proud of me. I thought the more I did, the more He would love me. I also thought that when I messed up, He was ready and waiting to punish me -after all, I deserved it.

Over the years, I allowed my imperfection to take its toll on our relationship. I didn't spend much time with Him anymore. Oh, I knew He was there, but I chose other people and other things over Him. However, I always knew that when I finished college and got married, He would be an important part of my life again.

What I didn't expect were the horrific events that took place my sophomore and junior years in college. "Lifetime" could have made a movie about it!!! Unfortunately not having a close relationship with Him during this time resulted in some very poor decisions on my part. I was simply in survival mode - the world's way. Even then, He never left my side. He protected me.

Finally, my life began to settle down. I got married and invited Him to be a more active part of my life, especially when challenges arose. He was always there, no matter my motive. Then, I had children and my communication with Him become more consistent. A few of the scales were removed from my eyes, and my hard heart was beginning to thaw.

In 2002 while taking my very first women's Bible study (Beth Moore's "Breaking Free"), my relationship with Him went to an entirely new level!!! And the healing began.

Since then, He has healed me from.....

- the lies that I believed about Him for so long (He was an angry judge just waiting to sentence me for my sins; He wouldn't love me or allow me to approach Him until I was perfect, etc.)

- the sins I committed because of the lies that I believed, both about Him and about life; You know, the thoughts we have and the things we believe (right or wrong) play themselves out in the choices that we make and the actions that we take.

- my bitterness, anger, disappointment, unforgiveness, perfectionism, control issues, etc.

- expecting other people to meet all of my needs; That's God's job, not anyone else's. This realization has been huge for me. It has allowed me to let people, especially my husband, off the hook. I've learned to turn to God first.

He healed me by extending His love, mercy, forgiveness & grace to me. He replaced the lies that I believed with truth, His Truth from His Word. He turned my anger & bitterness into joy.

So without further adue, let me introduce you to my Heavenly Father, my Savior, my Counselor, my Everything......

He is my Creator; my Abba Father (& yours)- 39 years ago today, I was born. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:13-14

He is my Protector (& yours) Our house burned down when I was just one year old. We lost everything (all my baby pictures - which is why I take so many pics now!; the Easter dress my Granny had made for me; all of our worldly possessions), but we did NOT lose each other!!! No one was at home when an electrical problem started the fire.

He is my Triune God (& yours) He is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit all wrapped into one. The character of God is so vast that it's hard to wrap our little brains around it. The concept of the Trinity reminds me of an egg, to be tangible about it. An egg is made up of 3 parts - the yoke, the white, and the shell. These 3 parts come together to form 1 egg, not 3 separate items. Each part has its own purpose to fulfill, and an egg wouldn't be an egg without each part. God is the same way. He is The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit - each with His own special purpose to fulfill.

When I am afraid or in over my head, He is my Rescuer and my Comforter (& yours.) He is always with me (& you.) "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

He is my Redeemer and my Savior (& yours) God loved us sooooooo much that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so we could be forgiven and have eternal life with Him. "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21.

He is my "Change Agent" (& yours) He loves me (& you) way too much to let me (& you) remain the same. So, He is constantly molding me, stretching me, and transforming me into the likeness of His Son.
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"Yet, O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand." Isaiah 64:8
I'm praying that God will use me as His hands in ministry to those around me, and that my life will be a reflection of God's handy work. May the imprint of God on my life be used for His glory.

He is my Gift Giver (& yours.) God gave me a birthday present today...I have a daily Bible verse calendar that I read everyday. Today's verse said, "...the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." WOW! What a gift!!! "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

And this is just the INTRODUCTION of who God is!!! I will be posting more about God and His attributes at least twice a month - more or less depending on the Holy Spirit's promptings.

So, how has God revealed Himself to you?

Another Dose Needed

A Double Triple Dose of Dads

About 30 years ago, God blessed me with my stepdad, Wayne. Once Tanner, the first grandchild, was born, my stepdad's name changed to Whack. We have affectionately been calling him that ever since.

Several years ago, Whack's health became a major issue. The Lord saw fit to completely heal him by taking him home in June 2007. Today March 6th was his birthday. In honor of him and what he meant to me, I would like to share some memories with you.

*Whack was a single dad raising 2 boys when he met my mom all those years ago. He loved to play sports, but softball was his favorite. He and my mom actually met at the softball field.

This is Whack and Nana (my mom)

*Whack was a pitcher and he stuck his tongue out with every pitch. He was known as "Hollywood" back then with his red afro and orange tinted sunglasses.

*Needless to say, we spent a lot of time at the ball field. One night, Whack was playing a game, and my siblings and I were playing in an open area at the end of the field. Someone was being mean to me so I had to walk beside the field to go tell my mom of the injustice that had occurred. The next thing I know, a foul ball hits me in the head and knocks me off my feet! The batter behind this infraction - WHACK!!! He felt really bad, but not nearly as bad as my head!!!

*There were 5 children (yours-2; mine-2; ours-1) in my family, and we were not cheap. So, Whack worked 2 jobs - a full-time 9 to 5 & a newspaper route in the middle of the night. He also played sports & coached our teams in between. There must have been more than 24 hours in his day! I can't remember him ever complaining about his schedule either. My mom may have a different story to tell, but even so, he never complained in front of us (the kids.)

*Whack came from a musically talented family. Singing was his strong suit. He also had a signature dance move that he performed only when he was driving. It makes me laugh just thinking about it!

*Whack played with us. He was never too busy or too tired. I can remember we would divide into 2 teams and Whack would be the pitcher for both sides. He was also the referee. He gave us instruction & encouragement.

*Supervising was a role Whack did very well. My older stepbrother would cringe & probably have nightmares if he heard me say "french drain!"

I could go on and on about Whack. Instead, I'll just spend some time praising God for making Whack a part of my life.

Oh, just one more thing..... Whack taught me about the importance of always making time for family and taking care of them. I hope I leave the same legacy.

My First Dose

A Double Triple Dose of Dads

Some of us are more needy than others, wouldn't you agree? Well, God knew that I was one of those people who would need some dads in my life.

Today, I want to tell you about my dad - Max. Here's a little background. He was the "baby" of 16 children. I must add that my grandmother was told by her doctor that she would never be able to have children. God apparently didn't get that memo!!!!! (She actually had 18 pregnancies, but two of them ended in miscarriages.) Everything is indeed possible with God!

My dad grew up on a farm on the outskirts of "Nineveh." This not only instilled an incredible work ethic within him but also a strong desire to provide for his family (so we wouldn't have to live a life of "hand-me downs.") So, it's no surprise that my dad went into business for himself when I was really young. He's been working hard ever since.

Although my parents divorced when I was 6 years old, I've always lived within a mile or 2 of my dad, until I went to college. I could see him whenever I wanted. Fortunately, my parents (and my stepparents) made the decision to get along with each other - after an initial healing period. Today, we celebrate birthdays, special occasions, Thanksgiving, and vacations together. God makes all the difference, and I'm so very grateful.

If I had to describe my dad in one word, it would be G-E-N-E-R-O-U-S. He is an incredibly kind and giving person. He cares about people and helps others any way he can.

Case in point, when SS lost his job 6 years ago, my dad gave him a job. When we moved back to "Nineveh," my dad let us move into one of his houses - the one he was going to sale. Well it's been 5 years now and we are still here. There's no For Sale sign in the yard either.

Some of my fondest memories with my dad are..... my 5th birthday when dad brought home a big purple bike for me (my bell bottom pants got caught in the chain the first time I rode it, but my dad picked me up when I fell down.) Going tent camping in the mountains. Spending Sunday afternoons on the lake learning to water ski. Getting a camper and staying at a local campground with a swimming pool (dad drove back and forth to work everyday.) Riding go-carts in the backyard. Going to the Shaun Cassidy concert. Trading in the boat & camper for a swimming pool. Playing softball and volleyball weekly with family and friends. Going to the race track on Saturday nights (my dad sponsored a car and actually raced it for awhile.) Cookouts. Just spending time together as a family.

Here's my dad, the chef, with T-Man, the taste tester!

Probably the most important thing my dad taught me was to treat everyone the same. I love you dad! I'm so glad God chose you to be my dad.

A Desire to Serve

"Wrennie Wednesday"

"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Proverbs 13:3

Faith Wrenn has been looking for ways to serve others recently. SS and I decided to eat in the living room (which we rarely do) so we could watch the race on Sunday afternoon. SS had a TV tray, and we were going to share it. Without saying a word, Faith Wrenn went downstairs, got another TV tray, brought it upstairs, and then set it up for me. How thoughtful!

After playing in the snow Sunday night for nearly 2 hours, we finally decided to come inside and warm up. Faith Wrenn immediately ran upstairs and got her dad's bedroom shoes because she heard him say that his feet were cold. He was pleasantly surprised and very thankful. Upon delivering the shoes to her dad, Faith Wrenn said "Mom, I wanted to bring your shoes too, but I couldn't find them" - the thought really does count!

Then, yesterday morning, Faith Wrenn saw my sweatshirt laying on the bed, picked it up, and got it ready for me to put on. (I'm sure you moms can picture this because we do it all the time for our younger children.) She just wanted to help, and who was I to deny her the opportunity..... We've almost got it! The Bible does say that two are better than one, right??!!! Sometimes, we get in such a rush that we don't allow our children to do things that they see as being helpful to us. I could sense God telling me to let Faith Wrenn help and not refuse her offer because I was in a hurry or because it would be easier if I did it myself. What strikes me the most about these acts of kindness is that Faith Wrenn does them without saying a word. She is genuinely acting out of love and a desire to serve others. I'm praying that her servant's heart will continue to grow and grow and grow!

One Small Step for Tanner; One Giant Leap for His Mama

"T-Man Tuesday"

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

Yesterday, Tanner headed outside to play in the snow. Any evidence that we had played in it the night before had been covered up by new snow. The only thing that could be seen was SS's footprints from earlier that morning.

When Tanner stepped onto the porch he said, "I'm going to follow in dad's footsteps." Then he proceeded to step only into the visible footprints that his dad had left behind.


After walking in his dad's footprints for a while, Tanner said "I'm just going to make a set of footprints of my own."
Tears welled up in my eyes and eventually made their way down my cheeks before I could stop them! This scene is exactly what is happening in "real life!" Tanner is quickly approaching teenagehood (I don't think that is a real word, but you know what I mean.) He is reaching the point in his life where independence will become his primary goal. He will be making his own footprints in this world.

My prayer is that he will follow in his Heavenly Father's footsteps.

One Snowy Night

It rained for 2 days, and then it all turned to snow Sunday afternoon - a lot of it. We knew that SS would have to work today so we decided to play in the snow together last night while it was still snowing pretty hard. Here are some pictures:

We made 3 snowmen total, but this one was the largest. It took a lot of patting to get it to stand up and stick together. In the next picture, you will see how this snowman looked this morning.

"The Leaning Snowman of Nineveh!" Obviously, she had a rough night but is still standing slanting.
Faith Wrenn eating a "snow biscuit" made especially for her by her daddy. Look out Chick-fil-A!

Me and SS on the sled preparing to go down the driveway.

Tanner, SS and Faith Wrenn at the end of their sled ride Tanner early this morning in training for the Polar Bear Club!

Our measuring stick

A view of God's creation from the front porch.
"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." Romans 1:20 (NLT)

A view of God's creation from the back porch.

One of my favorite things about the snow is the calm and the quiet. Our neighborhood is off a main highway so we can hear the constant sounds of cars in motion, especially from the master bedroom. But when it snows, everything is still, perfectly still. Until SS had to get up at 4:15 a.m. to go to work and I complained the entire time he was getting ready!!!

SS's footprints from walking to his truck very early this morningThis reminds me of the "Footprints" poem when Jesus says there is only one set of footprints (instead of 2) because He is carrying the person through their difficult time.